I have felt sick with excitement and worry and potential disappointment and potential success since Friday afternoon…when I received the phone call to tell me I was successful in getting an interview for the job I applied for recently in my dream town.

Yesterday I was to meet with the father of one of my ex students who I’m friends with to go over some potential interview questions. I cried on and off all morning because I was so scared and when I got there I cried for most of the time I was there. He was very kind but I could tell one thing – he thinks I have buckley’s of impressing them in the interview.

In one way I work well under pressure. I can perform – most teachers can. I am entertaining, I am passionate. But there feels like so much riding on this job interview that the pressure is destroying me. I know that I have a very slight chance of getting it – the other people getting interviews already work at the school and it’s a well-known fact that for an outsider to get the job is something highly unlikely. But I did get an interview which means they are open to the idea of employing someone else. This may seem crazy to people who don’t work for the DET but that’s how most schools operate – if they have someone in mind they put a few people against them that have no chance and don’t interview the people who could give them a real run for their money.

It was hard seeing the dad the other day for the fake interview because I know him and there was that embarrassment factor. I am hoping that I can clarify in my mind what I want to say and how to sell myself for each point and not get in there and have my mind go blank.

I am so nervous and swinging between despair that I will fail and tiny moments of thinking I can pull this off.