I do not know what is wrong with me.

Yesterday at work all I did was eat shit – all the chocolate and cake that was sitting around. I then ate too much when we went out for dinner – even had a big beer there which I haven’t done in weeks.

It’s now 6.30am and I was so mad at myself I woke up a good hour earlier than I usually do. I have planned all my food on Calorie King and decided that just because I’m going out for dinner (work Xmas party) that doesn’t mean I can eat whatever the fuck I feel like today. I have printed out my food diary so I can see what I have planned. I have a copy of the reasons I want to lose weight in my bag too.

Today I am putting on a party for one of my classes and I bought food that I mostly can’t eat (because it is “animal flavoured” or has animal by-products in it). There is still a few things I could eat – biscuits and one type of chips – but fuck this, I am not. I have had enough.


Home from school and I didn’t eat ONE THING that wasn’t on my list! I put all the chocolate and popcorn and chips out and I felt nothing. Nothing. None of it mattered to me. I took the big box of shell chocolates given to me by a student for Xmas around the playground and handed them out to whoever wanted one – I didn’t have one. Gone. Not an issue.  And the promising thing was – man, I felt so sick today. Normally I would be inhaling the bad food to make me feel better but not today! Today I put myself and my goals first.

Dinner soon and I will not overeat or drink.

I’s back on track, bitches! 😛