Sorry about last night all…just feeling very low. Have woken up this morning in a much better frame of mind and determined to take on today’s battles.

We have a staff morning tea today and I am going out to dinner tonight for (Indian which is not the world’s most low fat food! So I have to plan some strategies…

I know that there is going to be things at the morning tea that I want to eat like spinach and feta pastitsies. But as I am going out to dinner and can’t count the calories accurately, I want to eat food that is low calorie today. I have been trying to think of food which is low fat that will take me a long time to eat at recess and the only thing I can think of is a banana smoothie with soy protein powder. This involves some equipment and probably people noticing that I am going to a lot of effort (taking ingredients and equipment to school to make it) and not eating the morning tea that will be put on.  I may get questioned. I am not telling these people I am eating healthy, on a diet or anything else – I don’t need the attention. I’m not sure what I will say…but I am at least prepared and have accepted that I will not be eating any of the morning tea.

Second challenge – dinner tonight. Normally I would have two pieces of roti bread and no rice but of course rice is lower in calories. The problem is that roti is sold two at a time and I have a huge problem wasting food. I could bring it home for the husband to eat the next day…but to have it sitting there will be terrible! LOL! A good night to practice leaving food on my plate. And NOT something I am looking forward to! I already have ditched the entree (deep-fried cauliflower) and I know I can convince myself to have two half serves of curry (instead of the standard 1 and a half) but the roti – that will hurt. As will not having a huge beer with dinner.

But I tell you – losing weight and being healthier and thinner is far more important that a day of eating whatever I want…

PS – Thanks Linda for the lovely comment yesterday!

30/10…I won the food battle at work, and was very proud of myself! I didn’t help prepare the food, and when I went into the staff room where it was being held I took my own food and sat and ate it while chatting to others. Then I got up and walked out. I had a look at what was on the table and I would have normally had something from just about every plate. I ended up eating my lunch at recess because it was infinitely more interesting than the banana smoothie I had planned.

After recess I went to the canteen to buy a banana for the above mentioned smoothie…and they didn’t have any! First day they haven’t had a banana sitting on the counter ALL YEAR! I swore (quietly) then walked up to the only shop near school…and again, no banana! I walked back to school with the shits. That may seem like an over-reaction but I had gone to so much trouble lugging in the milk, protein powder, stick blender. I went off to teach a class and had a brainwave. “Has anyone’s mother packed them a banana today? Would you like to swap it for 5 redskins?” Desperate times means desperate measures. I had my banana.

Dinner than night saw a change in circumstances and we went out for Japanese. I didn’t eat till I was overfull and I really enjoyed it.

Saturday today and am catching up with some old friend’s of the husband’s. Am going to take afternoon tea (some fruit for me and a cake or cheese I don’t like so I won’t be tempted). Melbourne Cup is coming up and work is having a get together for it – no food there for me either. I am so determined to do this. I know it won’t be forever. I feel a level of determination I didn’t know I possessed.