Learnt an interesting lesson today – if I don’t knock over at least 4 glasses of water before lunch, I want to eat shit all afternoon. I have been really concentrating on listening to what my body is telling me over the past few weeks and have been able to push past the  “Need chocolate!” requests (“I’m actually thirsty”) and discover that most of the time, as Jon Gabriel told me in his GM book, it’s not that I’m hungry, it’s that I’m thirsty.

Normally when I wake up I am really dehydrated and have a huge silver milkshake cup full of water. That’s about 600mls. I normally make it past 1 litre by lunch. But some mornings…I don’t want to. The thought of drinking anything apart from my normal Green & Black’s cold hot chocolate makes me want to tantrum. This morning was one of those mornings…and I’ve been paying for it all day.

All I wanted to do was eat all day. I tried drinking water but it strangely felt like it was too late – I was on the tooth (as the husband would say, usually of the dog) and all I could think about was food. I went for a walk to try and forget about it – nope. Didn’t work. I marked some student’ s work and unstacked the dishwasher, hung out some clothes and watched some TV. Nope. Food. Then I did something delusional…I decided to go to Myer.

Dangerous, evil, Myer. With a Mrs. Fields downstairs calling up to me….

Did I think about this before I went? Of course! In the back of my mind I could taste those nibblers! But I kept up the front for a while and wandered around Myers looking at things that didn’t fit me and feeling fat. I casually walk downstairs to the food court, feeling hungry but knowing I was thirsty. But I could not bear the thought of drinking water! And surprisingly…I couldn’t bear the thought of eating nibblers! I settled for a chocolite scoop from New Zealand ice cream. Yes, it (and the bottle of beer I had with my dinner) put me over my calories for the day by 500, but I can live with that. Because 10 nibblers is 1800 calories (7520 kjs!) and has 100grams of fat in them. I was so shocked I had to put that in bold!

I am really proud of myself. I resisted one of my favourite snacks and I realised the water issue must be resolved before lunch.

I ordered the pedometer I wanted on-line (no one sells them in shops in Australia) and it should be here soon. And I am awaiting the arrival of my new diet book “the Beck Diet Solution” which comes highly recommended – a bit more CBT work for me to really nail this food shit forever!

Before I go – can I just say again – 1800 calories! 100 grams of fat! FUCK!