Sorry for the long absence – things have been crazy in both things to do and things to think about…

A few weeks ago I went to the snow on a school excursion. I was very nervous about this and had already made up my mind that I was not going to attempt skiing as all I could imagine was me stuck on my arse like a fat turtle with 300 teenagers having a laugh at me – not my idea of fun thank you very much! But I was inspired by the likes of Shauna, who tries all types of activities despite being low on the confidence scale (hope I’m not misrepresenting you there, DG!) and she always succeeds! So by the time I got there I was thinking “maybe…maybe…”

I went to the ski clothes hire place before the students did and came right out with it – “Hi, I’ve got no idea and I’m pretty fat as you can see. Do you have any clothes to fit me?” and low and behold, they did. A 3XL jacket…and…6XL PANTS! LOL! I am roughly a size 20 and even I could laugh at the 6XL label. I marched up to the ski girl (size 10 and 16 years old and when she said “Height and weight?” I just sang it out with confidence – “174cm and 110kg”. She didn’t raise an eyebrow and I felt good. I mean – there’s no denying it. I’m not, neither should she. I am fat. I shop in the fat lady section of Myer. I am a size 20. And I have embraced that.

I got on the skis and was terrible – but just as bad as the skinny people who were with me but surprisingly more determined! I went out every day even though my legs were killing me and even the day after I knocked myself out! The wind blew me over and my head hit the ice before my arse hit the ground – Hate to think what would have happened if I didn’t have a helmet on!

I also have started Pilates and it’s a real eye opener. I have no core strength and major muscles (particularly around my knees) are not engaged or being used at all. I am going twice a week and starting to feel some difference already. The bodies on the women who teach it are amazing – I would love to look like that! Not an ounce of fat on them.

Another job has come up at the-town-I-want-to-live-in and I am putting in an application for it. It’s a Christian school and this lapsed Catholic is having an interesting time trying to fill in the job application! It’s not as full on as some of the Christian school applications I’ve looked at in the past week – a few of the private schools up that way have advertised recently and when they write “What is your opinion on homosexuality?” in a job application my jaw drops. How would “Why are you concerned with people’s bedroom shenanigans?” go down do you think? 😛 So the job is at a Christian school and there’s some Jesus woo-har but I don’t mind that. I won’t be speaking in tongues anytime soon but I don’t mind if you do! 😉

I am not as manic about getting this job as I was the last one up there though. I was desperately unhappy last time I wanted out of this shitty city but I feel a lot more together now. I have decided to wait and see how I feel at the end of the year on the baby front – I really want to lose some weight before getting pregnant and we will have cleared all our credit card debt by the end of the next financial year. I haven’t ruled out starting to try *shrugs* let’s just see. I am ready though – well, as ready as I’ll ever be! The only thing that worries me is the lack of permanent job.

The only other thing to report is my sad, sad weight. Have been avoiding contacting the dietician and she is chasing me. Time to stick my head up and lose some…now or never!