…and myself. Turns out I’m human after all! I cannot de-clutter anymore. I pushed myself yesterday but last night ended up so miserable and depressed I have had to accept that I need a few days off from it, otherwise I will go back to school feeling like crap – burnt out and sad as all get-up. I know I’ve made the right decision to have a break because I am sitting here eating the most delicious breakfast and feeling very happy. Want my breakfast? You should! A slice of Pure Life Essene Bread with avocado, cheese and sesame seeds. I put it under the grill and nearly cried eating it! Washed down with a ‘cold hot chocolate’ as my mum calls it – a tablespoon of Green & Black’s Organic Hot Chocolate mix in boiling water with low fat soy milk…

Pure Life Essene Bread is the most beautiful bread in the world – they don’t have a website, but read about it here. You can buy it from the cold section of most health food shops. Green & Black’s Organic Hot Chocolate is the most perfect thing in the world! Once taste of it and you will wonder how you ever had any of that sugar-filled shit like Cadbury’s or Milo. This is coming from the woman who once ate a 1.5kg tin of Milo in 4 days!

Sorry for the diversion! Back to my break from decluttering rant. I know I will finish it this time which is a strange thing for me to feel – this is about the one millionth attempt I have had at decluttering my life, and at times in the past I have got very close to completing it…sensing a theme here? Remember, I’m the woman who got down to 12 kgs within her goal weight for her wedding and then piled it all back  on! 🙂 What has changed now in my attitude? *shrugs* I’m not sure. Enough of the bullshit probably. I really want a change in my life and for the first time believe that I can do it. I have achieved so much else despite having very little faith in myself and being married to someone with as much confidence in his abilities as the bloke has taught me well. He is living proof that you can do anything you set your mind to. 

I am making a list of everything we still have to do and stuck it on the side of the fridge along with my new ‘tick’ grocery list. We will do something every week until it’s done – and it will take a while cause there’s some really shitty things on there!! When I’m finished making the list I’ll put it on my side bar like some of you do with 101 things in 1001 days. 

I have three main goals at the moment and the end date for completion is the end of the next financial year which I know is a bit weird but there’ll be a lot happening then!

  1. Get rid of all debt! We have been in debt for the entire 5 years we have known each other and instead of going around and around in this vicious circle have decided to start saving for a house and pay off the debt at a slower rate. It was ruling our lives. The amount we are paying off is completely do-able and so far we have a first home owners account each with a healthy balance, a ‘slush fund’ and also some saving for our trip overseas in January. We are paying no interest on the debt as I am the Queen of Balance Transfers and just shuffle from one CC to another.  SUCKAS!
  2. Clutter – all gone by then. This includes clothes clutter – if it doesn’t fit, it goes. Don’t be telling me to let go early because it aint going to happen – all the stuff I have I love and really want to fit into it…which leads me to my next goal…
  3. Whatever weight I am next June 30th, that’s it. I can put in a concerted effort until then, but after that it’s maintanence. I have already been back to Fitness First this morning and done a very little workout (fuck, I’m unfit!) and have been recording my food for the dietician. I listened to the GM meditation last night and have picked out my visualisation pics.

Why the ‘rush’ to get all this shit sorted – apart from the fact I want to get on with my life? Well after some advice from soulmumma and a chat to my best friend (mum of two) I know I want to have children and I have stopped stressing about it. I’m just going to have to jump in the deep end and believe it will be ok! Come next year we will be trying. So I can’t imagine there will be much time for decluttering, weight loss or cash for getting out of debt…I’m ready to move on to a new part of my life.